I met a man who had a bag of Fish, Blood and Bone
I asked him why on earth he was taking it home
He said: "This will probably sound peculiar
but I put it on the garden, to help the petunias."
Queuing for the bus and the man in front of me
Had the biggest tub of mealworms you ever could see
He must have seen my face, (I was lost for words)
He told me: "Most are for my fishing, the rest are for the birds."
The next week I saw a man and he had a new broom
I said: "Are you going to sweep your living room?"
He looked at me, inhaled, then whistled
And said: "No, it's for outside. Look, it's got stiff bristles."
A man got on the bus with a thin piece of wood
It was long as well, maybe seven or eight foot
I didn't speak to him so I can't be certain
But I'm fairly sure it was a rail for a curtain.
Stood in the line another man on his own
Couldn't take his eyes off his mobile phone
If he'd lifted his head and turned off the screen
Those are all the things he might have seen.
(bonus verse for football fans)
Walking towards me came a man
I thought 'that looks like Ilkay Gundogan'
It wasn't of course, which was a pity
Because I love the way he plays for Manchester City
