Thursday, 21 May 2020

The Village Centre



A stained satellite dish looks down
On a shorts day, mustard trousers join a queue
The blind Westie in a red collar hesitates at the sound of traffic
The 'g' and 'e' are missing
A Maserati looks out of place
I don't know the names of trees.

Russell Hobbs: My Secret History

The storm reaches fever pitch
Blink
Wild flowers, rocks and minerals

Let's make a plan
Play I-Spy
Sing a soviet song

Touch me, Sparklebright
Drink chai with me you happy egg
While I'm basking in your six perfections

I'm sorry, I love you.

The Microscope

One Christmas, many years ago
(I think that I was nine or so)
my biggest Christmas present hope
came true. I had a microscope!

We set it up. My dad and I'd
put a hair under the slide
I focused in and what was there?
It was a slightly bigger hair.

I looked again and I could see
the microscope was not for me.

Have I been good?

I've brushed my teeth, the way I should
For the last six months. Have I been good?

Do I need a filling or extraction
which would provoke a sad reaction

The dentist prods, there is no pain
Have I managed to escape again?

But then she finally says, with gravity
"Upper left six, occlusal cavity."

And When the Sky Was Opened

I shot an arrow into the air
The monsters are due on Maple Street
A penny for your thoughts

Spur of the moment
A short drink from a certain fountain
I shot an arrow into the air

No time like the past
On Thursday we leave for home
The monsters are due on Maple Street

Black leather jackets
The changing of the guard
A penny for your thoughts



(The title and every line are episode titles from the original run of US sci-fi series The Twilight Zone 1959-1964.)

Monday, 18 May 2020

Abstract

'Make them more abstract'
That's my lesson from last time
Horse pain lightbulb coal

Sunday, 17 May 2020

Brazil 2014 facts

(Copied across from another blog I'm closing down)

(None of these are true - but they were posted on Twitter in 2014)

In the 1966 World Cup the Soviet Union took their own dugout to matches believing that the ones at the grounds were bugged.

Brazil boss Felipe Scolari is fascinated by the statues on Easter Island. He visits every year & is writing a book about them.

The pennants exchanged before World Cup games are given to FIFA's Museum of Pennants in Zurich which is not open to the public

Just Fontaine's prize for being the top goalscorer at the 1958 tournament was six chickens and a static caravan in Gothenburg.

When a teenager, Belgium's Axel Witsel was caught making a crop circle in a field near Antwerp. He was let off with a caution.

Martin Keown is such a fan of Desperate Dan that He's copied his beard and only eats cow pies.

The sand on copacabana beach is flown in from Ramsgate, Kent. It is GB's third biggest export after Top Gear and Doctor Who.

In 1994 a fast food chain spent $12m developing the McSoccerburger. They were unable to develop a bun to sit on the spherical meat patty and the idea was scrapped. (via )

USA midfielder Brad Davis is such a fan of Scooby-Doo that he has a van painted exactly like the Mystery Machine. In his spare time he drives it to old houses, derelict mines and abandoned amusement parks.

1978 World Cup hero Mario Kempes hosted a TV show called 'In the kitchen with Kempes' but it was cancelled after two series.

Adam Lallana won a fancy dress competition when on holiday at Camber Sands at the age of four. He dressed as Captain Birdseye.

Until their loss to the Dutch, Spain had completed 10,142 consecutive, uninterrupted passes in world cups. (via )

Former USA defender Alexei Lalas now writes romantic fiction for Mills & Boon under the pen-name Valerie Fairfax.

The most expensive Panini sticker is a 1970 Wolfgang Overath which sold for £650 (plus fees) at Sotheby's in 2011.

France boss Didier Deschamps collects astronaut memorabilia. His top item? A pair of Buzz Aldrin's shoes.

Uruguay striker Edinson Cavani is an accomplished bassoon player and turned down a place with the Montevideo Concert Orchestra

Chile keeper Claudio Bravo funds a goat sanctuary in his home town of Viluco.

The 1930 tournament only had three quarter-finals due to an administrative mix-up.

UEFA bigwig Michel Platini is a self-made millionaire thanks to his dental hygiene invention, the flossing harp.

The statue of Christ the Redeemer is hollow apart from the left arm which holds frozen local foodstuffs in case of shortages.

Sepp Blatter keeps the World Cup trophy with him and flakes bits off onto his breakfast. He believes it helps with his long-life and virility.

Rio Ferdinand was named after the Duran Duran song, not the place.