If at First

I entered the Japanese Cheese Contest

And was thrilled to finish third

I might have done even better

If I'd been gentler with the curd.

I thought my massive marrow

Would win the 'Biggest Vegetable' prize

But some of the other entries

Were four, five or six times the size.

Then at the Marmalade Festival

The judges tried to be kind

But I knew as well as they did

Something was wrong with the rind.

I trained my shetland sheepdog

to win the agility class

I thought we were going to do it

Until I slipped and fell on my face

It was at the Spoken Word gala

When my poem won the cup!

(Can we keep it our little secret

That nobody else turned up?)

Birthday poem for someone called Neil

Happy birthday Neil

Do you like the colour teal?

You’d look good in it I feel 

On your birthday

What presents do you have Neil?

A carbon fibre wheel?

Perhaps a glockenspiel

For your birthday

What have you got planned Neil?

Going for a meal?

I hope the gravy won’t congeal

On your birthday

Perhaps you’ve gone away Neil

To Kent, maybe to Deal

Or further south, to Lille

For your birthday

Or a cosy day at home Neil

You could watch 'Ally McBeal'

Or the old 'Sapphire and Steel'

On your birthday

I think that’s enough Neil

I expect you’re tired of all this guff Neil

You just do your stuff Neil

It’s your birthday!

This is not The Treachery of Images

This is not a pipe

This is not a drill

This is not a love song

This is not America

This is not a VAT receipt

This is not happening

This is not what I expected

This is the day

This is pop.

(Found poem with painting titles, song titles and other things starting with 'this is not' and 'this is'. If I stumble across any more they'll be added in.)

Part Company

It would be nice to make a dignified exit

No kicking, no screaming

No praying, no pleading

We can't be together and so

Say a few words then I'll go

It would be nice to make a dignified exit

Don't feel diminished

Because it has finished

My heart

Knows it's the right time to depart

It would be nice to make a dignified exit

Don't feel bereft

About the fact I have left

Try to smile

You won't notice I've gone in a while

It would be nice to make a dignified exit

I shouldn't be grieving

when it's me that is leaving

but I know

it's the right time to let go.

Reward & Revelation

I don't think I have the nerve

To say I've got what I deserve

This answer might be deemed a fudge

But I don't think it's for me to judge

--

I can't be described as 'go-getting'

So I've not been one for goal setting

In fact I probably should confess

I want to help other people to their success

Hold on a minute, bless my soul!

Looks like I made myself a goal.

--

(Two poems written from Write Club homework topic of Goal Setting and "Do you have all that you deserve?')

This is the Day

Today the colours seem more clear

than they usually are round here.

The lime green shade of ivy leaves,

emerald tones deep in the trees.

Hawthorn berries, glowing red

while pure white snowdrops raise their head.

Today I realised I heard

songs of many different birds

A collared dove calls out its name

I hear a chiffchaff do the same,

the 'electronics' of the starling

a blackbird's voice, so clear and sparkling.

Today I opened up my eyes

and saw cotton wool cumulus floating by,

cirrus streaks on azure blue,

contrails of aircraft passing through.

I don't know what broke the spell.

Today I noticed I feel well.

(Poem based on the 'Take Notice' strand of the Five Ways to Wellbeing.)

An English Spring

The first signs of spring

Council-planted crocuses

Or is it croci?